Insanity

I loved 

The beautiful phantasms 

You abused for hating me

To a state beyond insanity.

 

There was chaos

I loved so ceaselessly,

I believed no foreign touch

Could diminish

My unrequited loving

For your hateful,

Passionate craft,

 

That I only had the chance to see once,

But it pierced through my lungs,

Until I was convinced,

The act of breathing 

Was causality of love.

 

I am liberated

In the shell of tender arms

You were incapable of giving.

There's insanity 

In the recurring thought

That even your hate was better

Than his love.

 

When I could solely scream, 

There was paper.

No grimace, no man;

You're written as engraved onto my skin,

He wiped clean, 

Again and again.

 

It's astonishing:

The lust in me

On thought of your breath,

Teleports me back

To the chains

Of how I loved

 

The reasons you hated me.

 

I'll always fail horrendously 

To forget,

I am loved, but unsatisfied.

Fortunately,

The memory keeps captive 

Of your poison in me.