Letter for you

The first time I put my pen to paper

To make you feel harder  about all the things you don't seem to hear,

I was so young I forgot about the character of my phrases

And my love came unclear:

After imprinting words into your naive little brain,

You still managed to burn the pages of misinterpretation

Into my skin.

 

Did you survive the mutilation?

I wrote again, when I felt like wrapping you in kindness.

When I was so wanting

I would've needed you myself and 

Still your voice sounded so taunting

When you performed my letter for me,

 

I created you to be the audience of my misery

And you spat on my invitation.

Can't you know, there's no you without me??

I wrote every day 

About your every crucial mistake,

I know you feel my warnings 

And when you ignore them, your chest aches,

But you only bear your naked heart

For someone elses view.

What makes us alike, is that you wrote to your enemy

And I wrote to you.

 

The only time you decided to look up,

Your eyes didn't spare that old burning sensation.

They forced you  to heal.

And so the lipstick on your letter smelt like insincere obligation.

 

I think I know

What you hate about my mirrors so much:

I'm the scent in your pillow

And the scream you can touch.

 

I'm the skin you can't peel

And the smile you have to lick.

No matter what impulsive happiness you feel,

My letters are what makes you sick,

 

And I hated you so much, when you repeatedly destroyed me;

When I found out

You're ashamed of being kind to me.

Why do you, even when I warn you,

When I caress your blades,

KEEP
CLOSING

THE 

DIARY???